In mediation, instead of making proposals based on the co-parent you want your spouse to become, focus on the reality of who they are now. Build a parenting plan that allows for future adjustments based on specific, achievable metrics. Additionally, be open to your spouse changing after the divorce. Offer encouragement and acknowledgment when positive steps are made. Working with a co-parenting coach or child specialist can be helpful if more support is needed.
For more information about mediation, divorce, and family law, check out my website — ClarePiroMediation.com.