May 15, 2024 -   Clare Piro, a family and divorce mediator and attorney, advises against pressuring a spouse into choosing a mediator they don't like. Instead, she suggests identifying the qualities each of you seeks in a mediator and using those criteria to evaluate potential mediators. If your spouse continues to reject all options, it might raise questions about their willingness to engage in good faith mediation. In that case, you may need to reassess if mediation is the ri [...]

April 17, 2024 -   Clare Piro, a family and divorce mediator and attorney, emphasizes the importance of creating a child-focused parenting plan rather than getting stuck on labels like 50/50 custody or primary residential parent. She suggests shifting the conversation towards understanding the children's needs and considering factors, such as their developmental stage, activities, and preferences for structure or flexibility. Practical considerations like living arrangements and [...]

June 7, 2023 - A couple of topics came up in a peer group that I run for divorce mediators that took the discussion to a more personal rather than professional level. The topics were raised by two members of the group who had suspended their careers during the time that they were raising their children, resulting in lost opportunities. They embarked on new careers. But what cannot be regained is those lost opportunities. If you would like more information about mediation, prenups and [...]

May 20, 2020 - {3 minutes to read} As a divorce mediator, it’s not surprising that I work with many couples who experience a lack of communication. Since that lack of communication is now being coupled with spending an inordinate amount of time with your spouse during the pandemic, you may consider this an opportunity to improve your communication. In Listening During a Pandemic, Kate Murphy writes that while a pandemic has the likelihood of causing an increase in divorce, it ca [...]

April 23, 2019 -   In the past, as a lawyer it was very uncommon for me to either attend a mediation with a client or have clients bring their attorneys to a mediation with me. That was something that I always felt was a rarity in family mediation. Since I’ve become a divorce mediator, I’m not sure why, but that dynamic seems to be changing. I’m finding these meetings to be productive, and the attorneys’ presence to be helpful. [...]

May 23, 2018 - {2:42 minutes to read}  As a divorce mediator, I certainly expect to have clients express strong emotions, including anger. But I’ve encountered a few clients recently who made me recall my earlier post on the difference between anger and bitterness. The definitions of anger and bitterness are similar: Anger: a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility. Bitterness: anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly; resentment. The definit [...]

September 20, 2017 - {4:18 minutes to read} I’ve heard many complaints regarding divorce mediation: “It might be okay for simple matters but not for anything complicated.” “It’s too touchy-feely.” “You give up all of your rights when you mediate.” These types of complaints are easily dismissed as biased and uninformed; however, there are some complaints I’ve heard which I agree should be taken seriously. Mediator Lacking Relevant [...]