February 28, 2024 - The Greek philosopher Heraclitus is credited with the idea that the only constant in life is change. Or to put it another way, the only thing you can count on is change. There will be times when one parent wants to make a change to the co-parenting holiday schedule. This video lists two “don’ts” that you should observe if one parent is suggesting a change, especially during the holidays. If you would like more information about mediation, prenups, an [...]

May 3, 2023 -   There has been lots of noise on the internet lately about drafting your own separation agreement. Some couples have come in with a piece of paper where they divided the assets and made co-parenting arrangements, but unfortunately, the document has to pass muster under New York law which is very strict. If it doesn’t, your agreement can be voided and you will have to start again. If you would like more information about mediation, prenups, and family law, [...]

September 24, 2021 -   You're going through a separation and your communication with your co-parent is awful. You fight about everything. You're wondering: ''How are we ever going to be able to agree upon major decisions about our children, and what are we going to do if we can't make any decisions?'' Your answer to that might be: ''Well, maybe I should just say I'll be the sole decision-maker and I'll ask for sole custody.'' While that sounds rational to you, it's not going to have [...]

August 12, 2021 -   There are many special occasions to share in your life and the lives of your children. When divorcing, however, those occasions can become mini-battlegrounds, causing discomfort to visitors and your children. If you have children, you will be co-parenting for life. In mediation, we can build in ways to handle conflicts as the lives of you and your children move forward. [...]

February 19, 2021 -   In this video, we discuss the step when the child consultant comes into the mediation and speaks to the parents about their interview with the child. Parents don't have to be afraid that they are going to be judged in the meeting, or that anybody is going to be accusing them of being bad parents because they are having a conflict with their co-parent. The mediator and the child consultant will work together to make sure that the parents feel comfortable in the [...]

February 2, 2021 -   You probably haven't heard about Child Inclusive Mediation because it's not that prevalent in the United States. In Australia, where the process was developed, it is used in both mediations and high-conflict litigated cases and has proven to be very successful.  [...]

July 30, 2020 - {3 minutes to read} Reaching the agreement that you both want to share substantially equal time with your children is clearly a very meaningful decision, but it isn’t the only decision you will need to agree upon in terms of your parenting plan. There are many options in terms of parenting schedules that you will need to consider, and that can be a source of conflict. There is no “right” schedule, as it all depends on your children, their developmental [...]

June 30, 2020 -   Though the end of year holidays may be long over when this video is published, those holidays prompted my discussion of this topic for divorced couples. Sharing the kids during all of the holidays throughout the year is often a difficult subject to tackle, but there are some practical ways to work out the logistics so that your kids will have good memories of spending holiday time with their parents.  [...]

April 21, 2020 - {4 minutes to read} As I’m writing this on March 30, 2020, the Courts in New York State are open only for emergency relief, such as family offenses/orders of protection and child protective matters. Parents who are having non-emergency custody disputes are unable to access courts at this time to resolve their dispute. In an article in the New York Law Journal, Judge Jeffrey Sunshine, the Statewide Coordinating Judge for Matrimonial Cases, was praised on two divers [...]

September 25, 2019 - {4 minutes to read}  At a recent conference for divorce and family mediators that I attended, I heard a panel consisting of judges, hearing officers and law clerks speak to the reality of the court process. Here are some of the negative consequences they raised: Timeframe Although there are rules that say the entire process in New York County would be “trial ready” in less than a year after filing, the reality is that it could be two years or more to g [...]

February 27, 2018 - {3:48 minutes to read} In New York, we refer to “joint legal custody” as joint decision making in which neither parent has a superior right to make decisions for the children. It sounds reasonable, and most parents agree to joint decision making without much thought. But then I ask “What do you think will happen if you can’t agree upon a major decision?” A large percentage of my clients believe that they will not have any substantial confl [...]

January 19, 2016 - {3:36 minutes to read} If you were to ask any parent if, under any circumstance, he or she would want to punish their children for something they had nothing to do with, they would think you were out of your mind. However, I’ve seen people do just that, though I doubt they are aware of it. I’ve seen it happen most often in these situations: The other parent had an affair The other parent worked night and day The other parent ceded any responsibility for [...]