{3:30 minutes to read} To some, including me, the equity in a house is just like any other asset. I have never been attached to a home in the sense that I felt sad when it was sold. I recognize, though, that it was always my choice to move on. I’m not sure how I would feel if the choice wasn’t mine to make, or if it came at the same time as getting a divorce.
It is that sense of continuity and wanting something that is familiar to remain the same after the divorce that can lead a party to want to keep the house. Typically, it is when younger children are involved, but that need for consistency isn’t limited to those circumstances. I have had clients whose children were long out of the house or who have never had children, who want to stay in their home because it meant something more than just a place to live.
Letting the Court Decide
If this were a case for attorneys or the courts, without young children, the house would most likely be sold if the parties couldn’t agree upon a buyout. If there are young children involved, the court might order that the custodial parent stay there with the children until they graduate from high school, but if the other party can make a good case for selling, it might be sold. However it is ordered, only one party would be satisfied with the outcome.
Letting the Couple Decide
This is where focusing on the parties’ interests in mediation can help them achieve a resolution that will work for both of them.
First of all, the one party will actually hear and understand why something is important to the other. It is not just a demand in an attorney’s letter – it is a clear explanation as to why this means so much. In that sense, it becomes much more relatable, and the discussion can then lead to how each can meet that interest as opposed to a series of offers and counteroffers.
If there isn’t a way to achieve a buyout, here are some resolutions that might work for both:
They can agree to some money up-front and then the rest over time;
Or a sale in 2-3 years;
Or a buyout when the other person is able to achieve it.
Whatever the decision and/or resolution they reach, through mediation it will be one with which they both can live.
Keep the house or sell and start over? What do you think?